Loser Like Me

Yeah, you may think that I’m a zero
But, hey, everyone you wanna be
Probably started off like me
You may say that I’m a freakshow (I don’t care)
But, hey, give me just a little time
I bet you’re gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don’t care
Keep it up, I’m tunin’ up to fade you out
You wanna be
A loser like me

Push me up against the locker
And hey, all I do is shake it off
I’ll get you back when I’m your boss
I’m not thinkin’ ’bout you haters
‘Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I’ll see you when you wash my car

All of the dirt you’ve been throwin’ my way
It ain’t so hard to take, that’s right
‘Cause I know one day you’ll be screamin’ my name
And I’ll just look away, that’s right

Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up-up in the air
Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up, ’cause I don’t care
You can throw your sticks, and you can throw your stones
Like a rocket, just watch me go
Yeah, l-o-s-e-r
I can only be who I are

Loser like me by Glee

Because of you ~ Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I Will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did

You fell so hard

I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

 

Because of you

I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don’t get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

 

I lose my way

And it’s not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes

I’m forced to fake, a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life

My heart can’t possibly break

When it wasn’t even whole to start with

 

Because of you

I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don’t get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust

Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

 

I watched you die

I heard you cry

Every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry

In the middle of the night

For the same damn thing

 

Because of you

I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side

So I don’t get hurt

Because of you

I tried my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don’t know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty

Because of you

I am afraid

 

Because of you

Because of you

End of Surgery

Time really flies, it has been 4 weeks in my final year. I have just finished my 2nd rotation of surgery. It has been very challenging. So throughout the 4 weeks I have been to OT quite a few times, I’ve observed

1.  right mastectomy for breast cancer

2. herniotomy for an indirect inguinal hernia in a 13-year-old

3. an explorative laparotomy for Gastrointestinal-Stromal-Tumour, massive tumour with metastasis everywhere, with a spleen infarct

4. a laparoscopic Nissen 360 fundoplication for GERD, it took so long

5. an open splenectomy for a ‘wandering spleen’, seriously… ‘wandering’

6. a reversal of loop ileostomy after anterior resection for colorectal cancer

7. last but not least…. I SCRUBBED in for a hemithyroidectomy, it’s so cool! Not my first time scrubbing in, but it’s was a great experience.

I was suppose to observe to a cholecystectomy but too bad the case got cancelled.

Writte paper – SAQ went okay, straight forward questions but I just wished I had more time!! Was rushing all the way.

Clinical long case was bad at first! My first patient assigned to me didn’t want to talk so I requested to change patient. Thankfully my 2nd patient was very kind and understanding but I panicked when his story was vague and short, difficult to make a diagnosis. Well my examiner understood the situation and the discussion was very mature and all-rounded. I am glad that he was happy with my performance. I was so encouraged by his feedback after the exam. So hopefully I have done well for both papers.

Just want to thank God for my results back in February. Am very happy with it including some surprises! Especially the exam was right after CNY break so it’s good.

Peads is next so I really need to buckle up coz I have to deal with ‘little people’ who screams and cry!

Am I learning?

It has been 2 weeks since I started final year in med school. Waking up at 5:45am everyday is just killing me. I struggle to even stay awake in the afternoon. It’s tiring, it’s stressful, it’s insane, it’s crazy! I’m having one of the greatest surgeon around to teach us everyday, he gives me tremors!

I was in the OT today observing surgeries. I kept thinking about this scene in Grey’s Anatomy. I just wonder if I am learning, to be a great doctor. It’s haunting me that there’s a chance that I am learning just to pass exams instead of to be an excellent doctor. It’s a scary sight if I don’t get to learn.

Sorry sorry nobody.

Had so much fun watching these 2 videos… very catchy!

Sorry sorry by Super Junior

Nobody by Wondergirls

Welcome! Little princess!

Presenting…Ashley Wong –  the latest addition to my family, my little niece is now 6 months old!

Super-duper adorable! Her favourite thing… is looking at herself in the mirror!

Final update of 2009

Less than 1 hour to end of 2009.  It was definately a challenging year. There are just so many things to recall. In Chronological order…

Performed in IMU music night, singing a medley…presenting the chocolat.

Passing the insane End-Of-Semester-7 Finals. It was crazy! But am happy that I passed all end-of-posting exams.

PD outing with friends. The beach, the sun, picnic… and nice ice kacang!

 

Lost (PD edition)

Presented my research paper on ‘Efficacy & Patient Satisfaction of Radiofrequency-induced Intradiscal Nucleoplasty’ in the Malaysian International Medical Students Conference 2009. It was a great experience sharing my knowledge and also learning from fellow medical students from other schools. I was also very fortunate to be in the subcommittee for the conference.

 

 

Wearing Baju Melayu for the first time for the cultural-themed Gala dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Went to Tioman island for the first time! With Kaj, Aaron and Lingwei. It was stunning and just enjoyed the bonding time.

Before one of our snorkelling trip. Disclaimer: I am not a big fan of deep water.

Attended the classy and fun church Anniversary Gala Dinner in Sunway Pyramid Resort Ballroom.

Completed my 6 weeks medical attachment in Singapore with Kaj and Dejun. Had a blast!

My clinical group in National University Hospital Paediatrics Department. Thanks for being so nice to me.

The NUS 5th-years in General Surgery, Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Scrubbing in and assisting in operations for the first time!

Well, my life wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my favourite hobby…

SLEEP!!!

Good bye 2009! Welcome 2010! The best year yet!

Bad influence?

Since young, I have been taught that I should not mix with those that are bad guys, and stay away from bad influences. ‘the bad guys!’ And that if I mix with those people that are positive, I will stay positive.

But… I have also learned that I should not judge people and no matter what’s their past, what bad things they have done… I should embraced that and tolerate each other.

Then I thought… most people stay away from people that they don’t like, including me as well. But these people that has been isolated, hated, and ignored… it’s such a pity that they are alone and no ones like them etc. I was just wondering.. maybe we should give these people a second chance? Not like as if we have the power to renew their… I mean just be a little friendlier and nicer to them…

Some people don’t realize they have offended others, or irritated people… or said the wrong thing to others thus causing them to be labeled ‘mean, irritating, annoying, even stupid’… how many of us actually tell them face to face? ‘hey, that wasn’t appropriate, she was offended by your words, maybe you shouldn’t have said that…’

Some take it negatively…’who are you to tell me that, F*** off’

While some will take it constructively…’okay, I shouldn’t have said that’

It’s just a random thought… the way we treat people…

Being hated

I wonder how he feels, to be hated by everyone in the class.

Well, the better question to ask is does he even have the insight that everyone hates him?

Everyone just hate to be around him, hate to listen to him, hate to have any eye contact with him, just HATE him.

He so need to learn when to shut up. Chinese have this saying ‘ If you stop talking, no body would think you’re mute!’

HE thinks he is superior than everyone else and he always like to ‘EDUCATE’ people. Geez… unless you’re my professor, just speak like a normal person please.

He bullies those that never fight back, he feels good that way I guess.

And that cynical laugh… just literally make people go ‘ARGHHHH!!!!’ It’s not even funny.

Making fun of people, taking pictures of my friend’s legs who happen to be wearing a skirt, pictures of people who are darn tired taking an afternoon nap and putting them up in facebook… not very attractive.

He’s like… freaking 3 years older than me… but acting like a kid seeking for attention… it’s just laughable…

Sometimes I get so angry with him… but when I stand back and look at the big picture… it’ll be childish to fight with a child.

MIMSC 2009

4-6th September, the 1st International Malaysian Medical Students Conference was held in Palace of the Golden Horses and IMU Bukit Jalil. As part of the program secretariat subcommittee, though the hard work, I have came to realize how much I love to organize. I strongly believe it’s a gift.

I also presented a scientific paper entitled The Efficacy and Patient Satisfaction of Radiofreqeuncy-induced Intradiscal Nucleoplasty. Even though I didn’t win, but I have learnt so much about scientific presentation and also enjoyed all other scientific presentations. IMU has 9 scientific papers presented out of the 30 presentations, that’s HUGE! We don’t just have the numbers, we have the quality too! As Chester won the Oral Presentation! So happy for him.

Overall I am very happy that the conference went well and I have gained such a great experience.  The sad part is that I have been busy throughout the conference that I didn’t have much time to get to know other delegates.